♥ Shut the F**K Up

What's love? seriously.

2012-02-03T01:12:00.002+08:00

To be really honest, I don't get it. I couldn't comprehend what is it that makes up love between two persons.

I thought I know what its all about and sometimes I get so excited about it and start to advice my friends when they come to me about their problems.

I felt that I'm pretty mature in solving their problems. But, not mine.

What is it that draws two people together and torn them apart?

Can love really turns to hatred at the instant of a blink of eye?

I somehow don't understand the concept of love nowadays. Or I should say, I don't understand it at all even at the beginning.

Why would you get yourself to start a relationship with a person when you already know that you won't last with him and you're just gonna hurt him very soon?

If you love that person at the point of time, shouldn't you rather not to hurt him in the end even you will be hurting yourself at that time?

Of course I'm not saying that you should lie to yourself that you don't like this person, not to cheat yourself of your feelings, but think, think very wisely, very very carefully.

Is this love? How could love be so hurtful when its so beautiful?

Why does it have to be like this? Why can't it be just as beautiful and makes people happy instead of sad? How come breakups cannot be happy for both the parties? There must be one of them couldn't let go, couldn't bear to lose the other one, couldn't let go of this love.

What if someone is tired of love? Will there be someone for him to wake him up and shower him with love until he is able to love again? But isn't this became a fairy tale that barely happens in reality?

Can two person become friends after they broke up? Most of them tell me no, including my mum. hah.

I feel so tired, exhausted. Someone saves me please?

2011-10-05T23:49:00.001+08:00

Im trying my best not to think about you anymore.

Please don't come back into my memories.

Just go away.

I don't want to think about you anymore.

In fact, I dont want you anymore.

Show me that good things come to those who wait?

2011-07-17T00:14:00.002+08:00

I wonder why is life always so unfair.

I feel so sorry for my brother not getting local university based on his excellent result in STPM.

4As' isn't eligible for any local university? what the hell is wrong with the world nowadays?

Im suffering great disappointment. (Don't even have to ask how my brother himself feels about that and also my mum.)

Sigh. I really wish, once and for all, life could be better for all of us.

I really hope that I can be successful in the future.

Im working hard in doing so.

I hope, I wish I can make it.

I don't know if there's still any fairness in this world.

I really hope there is.

Why is it always rains harder on those people who deserve the sun?

Knowing the feeling of jealousy.

2011-06-21T21:06:00.001+08:00

I think I start to know what love is.

She wears your jacket. I see.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

2011-06-14T19:32:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since I've posted.

I'm now studying in ATC, in KL.

Life's been good for a while, until today.

I don't know what sort of feelings am I having for you.

Am I liking you or merely cares about you?

I saw you smoking today, I was shocked when I was told by others and I turned my head, there, I saw you blowed the smoke out.

Just what the hell do you think you're doing?

I felt really sad and pity for your parents for a while.

Then I went heartache. For your parents? or for you? I don't really know.

My heart just shrunken.

I don't know what is it.

The image of you blowing out the smoke keeping flashing in my mind during class.

I really don't know how to erase it.

Perhaps, I shall say, who am I to care so much?

I shall better back off then.

bad day since that day.

2011-03-14T23:54:00.002+08:00

I'm tired. I'm really tired already.

I just feel like sitting and no more talking to anyone.

Where are you, just where the hell are you when I need you?

No one's there when I needed someone.

I felt so pathetic about myself. That eventually, no one will be there for me when I really need a shoulder to cry on. No one actually there for me. None.

And those who promised will be there for me no matter what happens, aren't here for me too.

So, what for saying such thing, giving such promise, while you know you won't be doing it.

I would rather you say you hate me and hurt me in the end, than saying that you love me but hurt me in the end. Saying that you hate me, eventually make sense than you say you love me.

I've been watching comedy these few days, I laughed. For a few minutes.

Then I went silent again.

nothing changed.

2011-03-11T23:59:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why would I bother such little things.

I just want to leave here.

And crying alone in the room a not is already an issue I don't give damn anymore.

Everybody, everyone has their own problems, I do understand.

The only different thing is big or small problem; problem or problems.

I don't have any problems right now.

The problem that would be my problem is probably I have no one to talk to.

Like even if I could tell, is there anyone able understand my feelings?

Of course they will say: Oh, sweetie, I understand your feelings. But I know they know an ass under my elbow. They said that because that's the thing people would normally say.

I don't know how to speak to you about what I'm thinking, what am I angrying about, what makes me feel so sad and not wanting to talk. I want you to know all these things so badly but I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW!

Do I really need to say everything out, that only can make you understand?

So this is how I feel.

2011-03-04T12:01:00.004+08:00

How would you feel when both of your best friend stead together?

Nah, I'm not discourage them for being together.

But somehow, I felt lonely.

When you need just one of them to play the best friend role, they were being cheesy together and you became the lightbulb, as bright as you want yourself to be. Then you feel odd and being left out.

When secrets are not shared anymore. You're not the one they share their secrets with.

A correct way to say is, they shared each other's secrets, but you're the one who knows nothing about all of it.

Its not really jealous. Its a feeling of being left out. At the junction of the road and they already decided their way to the right and yet you still wandering, wondering which way to take.

And when you realised they are not on your track, they already gone for long.

There you stood still, contemplating how idiotic are you for standing there so long, without actually knowing what's going on around you.

So, when your best friends stead each other, you will start feeling this way.

Then you go ignore all these feelings and start doing a lot crazy things.

insomnia.

2011-02-25T06:18:00.003+08:00

If you are afraid and scare of me right now, cause of the latest text I sent you, I take it back kays?

I'm sorry, I'll take back if you don't feel liking the 3 words from me.

You just didn't reply my text, and ignored me.

Maybe you want me to go to bed, so you didn't reply already.

But if you do not feel the same way as I do, tell me? perhaps with lighter way so that I can accept that.

Please don't ignore me like that. :(

I shouldn't have tell you that, I'm really regret now. D:

time pass quickly please.

2011-02-16T02:05:00.002+08:00

I need some sparks in my mundane life, nowadays.

Like, someone who can makes me love him back. you know?

I'm like already forgotten the ways to love someone.

Loving someone sound like something that needed to practice everyday. LOL.

Because now its like, I felt like, rusting already? +_+

I don't know what am I crapping right now, so I'll just make it short.

I NEED SOMEONE THAT IS IN LOVE WITH ME AND I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM TOO!

.

2011-01-31T23:18:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wish, there's somebody for me when I almost fall from somewhere else.

Someone who wouldn't, who doesn't, want to leave me alone, anytime, anywhere.

Someone who will not bear to leave me there, and let alone care about me.

Is there even one person out there? I doubt so.

I want to love you as much as you do.

2011-01-27T15:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I just feel kind of lost.

I feel like everyone is going somewhere. Doing something. And always with someone.

Sometimes, I feel kind of alone.

I kind of wish I had someone. You know?

I mean I'm not going to just latch on the next boy I met, I'm not desperate.

I just kind of wouldn't mind having someone to sit on the rocks by the river. To share a warm drink with in a coffee shop. To sit in the car and listen to music with. To dress up and go out with. To snuggle with in the winter. To cook fanny dishes with. To bath in the same bathtub, rub my back. To hug me from my back, and tell me I am not alone, that he will never leaves. Just to be with. I really have a fantastic life, and I enjoy it thoroughly.

But I still think it would be nice to have someone to enjoy it with me.

greatly depressed.

2011-01-21T22:30:00.003+08:00

I feel very tiring these days. Felt like don't want to live anymore.

Felt many kinds of feelings which eventually causes me have no appetite.

I don't know why. I'm just tired.

I'm so sick of all these, all biased act.

I want to start my A-level real soon, please.

I don't want to face anyone here.

I don't want to face any betrayal anymore.

I just want to leave here silently. Without anyone knowing.

I want to disappear like bubbles popping, like water evaporates.

saranghae.

2011-01-12T03:32:00.002+08:00

I want to see you with your bright smiles on your face everyday.

Don't keep things into yourself, my dear.

I will always be there for you whenever you need me.

I love you.

:(

2011-01-07T01:59:00.002+08:00

You know I miss you.

You kept appearing in my mind.

When I'm sad, I'd always thought about you, why aren't you there for me.

I didn't really blame you for not being there for me, cause I didn't too.

When I'm happy, I thought of sharing my happiness with you, talking to myself, hoping you will know right now I am happy and wanted to share with you.

When I'm upset, I hope you will cheer me up but not leaving me alone.

When I'm angry, I wish you were here, right by my side, and ready to coax me until my anger is gone.

Now I miss you, I wish I still have your number, and able to tell you that I still care and love you.

But you wouldn't know anymore, cause I wouldn't tell you even when I see you and just passing by of me. You wouldn't have the chance to know.

Love is blind. And I'm blind now.

Hoping there will be someone, cure my blindness in still loving you.

New Year.

2011-01-01T01:59:00.002+08:00

Its 2011 today.

I'm not very happy though. Just glad that 2011 had finally ended. And this is what I want all the time.

There's lots that happened in this year.

Met a lot of friends, all kind of friends, goods and bads.

I shall said 2010, is another year which I felt myself had grown up again.

And now I realise no matter how many friends I had before, I am always alone.

Alone in facing problems, realities, and so on.

"That's life!", People always said so. While I don't think those people know what life really is.

"You're that kind of person whom do not have any friend who can be trusted.", My mum said this to me. Cause of my zodiac sign or something, haha.

Oh yes, I slowly agreed with her. Yes, I am.

Since kwak's death, I barely have any friends. Because all I had is him and no more.

Tonight, I countdown alone at home cause I'm sick.

Sick for quite a few days, not contacting anyone after exams, not planning any hang outs like I promised. All I want is to be alone. And I miss him.

I wanted to say sorry and ask him back, can you please come back and stop kidding me anymore? I know you hadn't gone so far, can you please come back? I miss you already. I don't want to continue this game already. You know I miss you, I've always told you I missed you and beg you to come back to me. I have no friend, I feel very lonely, so please come back, will you?

I know I am not a little girl anymore, but you know without you, I really feel like dying.

2010, I will never forget this year, loads of unhappy things happened that made me miss you so much, I hate this year very much. This year which is another year I feel like dying. Feel like dying, heading to the same place with you. I had no one who knows me here, I want to go with you. Why won't you bring me?

I can't be happy anymore. I miss you.

2010-12-29T23:26:00.000+08:00

I MISS YOU.

mundane day.

2010-12-27T20:25:00.003+08:00

Helloh, why wherever I go, there's shadows of yours?

Can you just leave my world?

No matter game, or real or dreams or wherever, just go.

I don't want to hear anything, answer anything, question by people anything about you.

There is always madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. -Friedrich Nietzsche

2010-12-22T19:15:00.002+08:00

Maybe people love to pretend because if they do not play pretend, they will have nothing.

I only want to be happy, that's it.

Hadn't felt it quite a long time. But I still remember to smile.

Forgotten to eat medicine today, LOL.

Luckily reminded by my mum, :x!

Even if I left you, remember to take care of yourself, ^^!

This is what I thought.

2010-12-19T13:56:00.004+08:00

I thought we are friends? I thought you know we are. Really.

How many times should I convince you that I treat you as my friend? A very good friend and this is the end of the story?

How many times should I emphasize that we are FRIENDS?

Just tell me how many times should I say so, so that you will believe and won't think that I'm gonna like you or something?

I treat you as my friend, only, that's all.

I am tired of all these route, repeating non-stop.

No matter what other people think, what other people say, I only treat you as my friend.

Maybe sometimes I be sulk to you, but that's because I thought I could trust you, and play with you like any of my brother.

Sigh, whatever you want to think.

help.

2010-12-13T02:16:00.002+08:00

Realizing that I'm not a little girl anymore, yet still hoping someone could pat my head, tells me that everything is gonna be okays, and give me a hug.

Like it will be real. Knowing it wouldn't.

I'm an idiot.

Unusual December.

2010-12-11T11:09:00.002+08:00

Ohoh, next tuesday gonna end my exam, like AT LAST/IN THE END/FINALLY. :)

Had planned lots of party with my friends. HAHAHAHA.

Speaking of friends, I wondered if I had any friends. Heck care, right?

So, not going to genting during my holiday, will just stay in the city. =)

Wondering about where to study my A-Level, seems like nowhere is good. ._.

Also, have to look for jobs in the holiday.

I wonder what my mum had looked for me. :p

After this year, all of us gonna split to all kind of ways.

Let's do not meet again. :)

Gone.

2010-12-03T01:40:00.000+08:00

Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I'm falling apart.

Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am isn't me.

today i feel like runaway, like how i did last time.

2010-11-27T21:57:00.001+08:00

hahaha, i like this song! :D

2010-11-25T20:13:00.002+08:00

Remember when we were little, and we would accidently bit a kid on playground?

Our teachers would go, "say you're sorry."

And we would say it, but we wouldn't mean it.

Because the stupid kid we bit totally deserved it.

But as we get older, making amends, isn't so simple.

After the playground days are over, you can't just say it.

You have to mean it.

&&" And when we get it right, "I'm sorry" is a "redemption".

My apologize to you, is a redemption. Because I am right. I hope you get what I mean.

But you owe me an apologize, or maybe aplogize(s), as what you did, isn't just a silly misunderstanding, or silly mistake.

I believe you did so with your intention. Good or bad one, you know yourself.

Cause I already failed and don't know how to discern your good or bad, real or fake.

Good Luck to you in finding sincere friends.

Because I really don't need anyone like you, or maybe sooner I don't need friends, or I don't need friends anymore.

I wish there's this day, I don't need anyone but centered everything on myself.

helplessly finding my way back.

2010-11-19T02:36:00.008+08:00

Perhaps I expect too much from my friends.

I expect them to understand me for who I am.

I expect them to believe in me, put their trust on me.

I expect them to believe me whatever bad things other had said about me.

I expect them to discern which is the true, real me when others are blaming and accusing me.

I always expect friends not to betray me as I never ever betrayed any of them and I treated them with my heart and sincerity.

I always expect friends to true, real and someone who gives you happiness and brighten your days and be your light in the dark.

I expect friends do not hurt you by doing things which can be really hurtful and hard to forget.

Am I really expecting too much?

If I can do all that to my friends, why couldn't they do the same thing to me too?

I hold them dearly, why couldn't they just appreciate what I've done for them, perhaps just a second or a while? or for once?

Maybe I'm really not good in making friends.

Maybe I'm meant to be alone. Like how I did last time.

I've tried this new way of life, but its just doesn't suit me.

I hope, I wish I didn't change.

I wish I were the same person in secondary 3.

That I don't care how other feels and thinks about me, all I care is myself.

I wish I can just be happy like last time, I can be happy for a little things.

I wish I am not the person I am now.

Because I did changed to become a better person, but happiness is waving goodbye to me.

All I want is to be happy. I want to make my family happy, my friends to be happy, and people around me to be happy.

But why am I so sad everyday?

I question myself, but I couldn't get the answer.

I had already lost my mind.

I'm sorry. But I really want to be the old me I used to be.

I just can't stand it anymore.

I can't stand myself being this version of me anymore.

I want to be happy.

2010-11-18T22:53:00.003+08:00

If that day is the last day we are friends, I'm okays with it.

Can you please stop spreading those untrue things? Be real, for at least once?

You're just another "her" cause you're the same, speaking that you are innocent while you're not. You yourself, know who's lying.

I don't want to comment on you, I don't want to badmouth you. I chose to keep it into myself. Cause I don't want to affect any of my friend's mood. Why are you keeping on saying that you're innocent? Both you and I know you are not.

I'm done with it. Seriously. Whatever you did, and what you're doing now, just making me want to puke, and making ah po wanting to "kam" you. (LOL)

I have had enough, enough of all your sabotage. Enough of all your nonsense. Everything is enough! I've stand it for how many years.

You are the one who is in the wrong, why are you accusing other people? Creating stories which you don't even believe and making people to believe you and start to detest on me?

Are you jealous?

Why are you just cant stop all your bullshits? You have the potential to join the bullshit gang I guess. Because neither me or ah po, need friend like you.

Stop saying ah po and I ignore you, we didn't. Its yourself think too much. Maybe you are guilty for what you had did all the time, and now you're scare that we know about it.

If that's the case, don't have to worry, we already knew.

anyway, fuck you. I already don't feel like talking to anybody.

fucking moron.

2010-11-18T01:26:00.004+08:00

Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy succeeds without seeing any envy in they eyes of those around you.
-Marilyn Monroe

I gave up already. I failed to be what kind of people I want to be in other people eyes.

Eventually, when your results are better, when your face is looking prettier, you have good relationships with so many some other friends, you used your heard to treat every friend of yours, there's still people who wants to ruin your good times everyday.

Even if you have just only any one I mentioned, I guess you will be treated the same way too.

So this thing inside those people is Jealousy, I guess.

I was once believe this line: Time can prove everything. Time can prove who's right or wrong, who's good or fake. Something like that.

But it doesn't. Things just don't make me feel that way.

Things happened, and my heart always sank to nowhere. It takes time to dig my heart back to its original place. And its hard.

Why hurting then? If you care friends like how I did, why?

I don't understand why there are still some brainless kids go and post on your wall, and said do not care what they say or what they think, we support you, we know you are innocent.

What I really want to say to this person who writing that is, Kindly shut the fuck up, you know an ass under my elbow.

People like this always listen one side story, what about the other side? You are not in the mess, why are you messing with us? Are you sure you want to get yourself into all these shits?

Don't regret if that's a yes.

I am a typically Scorpio, I do revenge. I do. Thousands hundred times cruel, worse than what you did to me. I really swear I will.

We shall wait and see.

2010-11-11T17:32:00.002+08:00

“There are people who deserve you and people who don’t. If you have someone in your life who takes you for granted or doesn’t give you the respect that you deserve, leave them in the past where they belong. Surround yourself with people who challenge your mind and bring out the best in you. As for the ones who only exist to bring you down or cheapen your potential; let them find people who are better-suited to their own qualities and principles.

Hold yourself to the highest standard possible. People who don’t measure up don’t deserve your time. People who can’t see past their own cowardice or their own arrogance don’t deserve your time. Anyone who doesn’t treat you the way you treat yourself doesn’t deserve your time. And if you are treating yourself in a way that gives people permission to take advantage of you, start showing yourself the exact same respect that you should be demanding of everyone else.

You’re really worth more than you give yourself credit for. It’s time that you start making sure people recognize that.”

I don't mean to take you for granted.
Just that time is needed to clarify our friendship.
We are friends, that's all. Nothing much or less.
But if you were that kind of people like what others seeing in you, then I totally have nothing to say.
But I believe people have their eyes to see, to discern which is good or bad, which is right or wrong, which is true and fake.
I shall always believe that, I guess.
Cause I already don't know what I can believe in anymore. Who I should trust anymore.
I hope things will come to an end, soon.
Things, please fall back to the normal way will do.

o21110~

2010-11-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to myself! :)

Officially 17 years old! ^^

Thanks everyone for the wishes and presents.

Love you guys!

Wonderful day.

2010-10-31T21:10:00.016+08:00

A Happy Birthday In Advance to myself! ♥

Had a big big surprise from my friends and dears. :)

Today is actually an awesome, flawless, happiest, birthday. ^^

What else can I say to have all of you as my friends.

Its totally perfectly great to know all of you, I really appreciate for all the things you all did for me today. Especially those gifts.

Those birthday gifts are like made of all of your hearts. x.x"

I didn't burst into tears didn't mean that I'm not touched alright, seriously I felt so touch when I saw all those signatures on it. x.x" I was almost there to drop my tears. HAHAHA.

But in the end I never. :P

Thanks to everyone who made effort in this birthday surprise.

Especially my ji mui(s), vivienne and ah po, thanks for messaging my mum! ♥ LOL.

Also, preparing this surprise for me, thinking such idea to make me feel happy and surprise.

Love you both really very much, ahs, felt like hugging you both right now already. x(

Also thanks to table and hun, who ran every to get signatures on the T-Shirt. :)! The T-shirt looks very nice, and I love it very much. :D

Thanks to all my dears, bought me the cute little "lamp" with a "HAPPY" and "Smileys faces", really suits me very much that present. LOL!!

Thank you everyone who made it to come to this birthday surprise, and those who never came, its okays, I still love you all. :P

Hopefully we can score together in SPM, and have lots of hang-outs after that! ♥

And lastly, Thank you very much. You all really, good at giving people surprise. LOL. ♥

Maybes. Perhaps.

2010-10-25T00:28:00.002+08:00

I always question myself when I see unfairness, its not that I want things to be like what I'm thinking. Its like everything should be in equilibrium.
I want those bad peepos to have their punishment. I want them to pay for what they did.
Probably, this is why I want to study LAW.
I want to know what's the use of LAW, when people around are not following the rules.
I want bad people who hurt others to get punish.
Maybe I should be the one who get punish first, but I don't really care if I will be the one, I just want those people who did bad things on me, on people around me to get punish!
I might sound crazy, foolish, mad, idiot, selfish. But this is me.
Not asking you to accept who I am, but asking you to respect me for my decision.
Maybe I already don't mind losing a friend or friends, I already don't care, can you please stop mess my life up and make my life harder than it already is?
Will you please stop creating troubles and difficulting my life? I'm suffering.
I know you are doing all these in good intentions, but I don't think you did think for me or the 3 of us, I don't think you consider our feelings when you doing all these things which pissed us off.
I think all you cared is your lover, your angel lover, your damn good lover, your best-person-in-the-world lover. I wouldn't say she's mother theresa, cause this is such a humiliation and disrespects to her.
Anyway, that's what you think, you think she's good, and we're bad. Or maybe I'm the only one who is bad, I'm manipulating all these. :) Hell yeah, I'm a control freak. :D
I do care about what people think about me, I do care about my image, but I don't fake in front of people around me and being a hypocrite, telling everyone I am innocent while I am not, maybe this is due to my rusty acting, I don't know how to be an actress, that's why I lost a credit in that.
Time will prove everything. :)
I don't mind if you stand at which side, because what I did, never wrong.
I'm not in the fault. You are the one, SHE is the one.
Stop blaming us, you know the fact.
Being your friend, this is the boundary already.

I want to eat lollipop now.
It cheers me up. :)

Apology.

2010-10-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry for whatever I did last time which hurt anyone of you around me.
Sorry for being a flirt, being a two-timer.
Sorry for lying, and denying the truth.
I sincerely apologize, that I two-timing some other people and they didn't know.
They thought I'm sincere, they thought I'm whole hearted towards them.
The truth is, I am not. And I act like a innocent girl when they breaking up with me, crying, drunking everywhere. Actually I didn't feel that sad for that moment. Just that I want them to feel guilty, while actually I'm hugging another guy at the other side.
I'm not pure nor ignorant, I'm just lying.

Sorry for being not sincere and playing feelings of you all.

Mouth that full of lies.

2010-10-13T01:22:00.005+08:00

Today I felt okays for something, not okays for another thing.
So, okays's or not-okays's first? :O
Okays was because we did a great job giving samantha a birthday surprise which all of us were pakat to make a whole drama that made her cry in the end. LOL.
Sound evil, cause I added a LOL. :x
And we had fun laughing in school, :D!
Went home and then took a nap cause yesterday night never sleep well.
That's why I'm still here at this time. :P
Just done my homework, never get to study, again. :\
I really don't know how am I going to die in SPM without touching my biology. :(!
Alright, there's a not-okays stuff, which is somebody apologize to me for whatever he did, he said he don't even know what he did wrongly to make me hate him that much. He said he had gone through a lot. He said in a very innocent tone, like he is another innocent chic, a baby who is too ignorant to know what is happening around him. He apologize to me is for me, and wanted to untie all those complicated conflicts or something (which I turn out laughing out loud about) , and then he said he wasn't apologize to me for anyone, its for me. (BULLSHIT! That's what my heart says.) And about the idiot thing he said: I WANNA GET CLOSE WITH XXX was joking with another guy friend of mine. And he didn't lie and tons of bullshits which I didn't believe any of it. :)

Here's the thing, If you do not know what you did wrongly then what for apologize to me? Because you did nothing wrong, if you don't think you did something wrong, right? If there isn't someone who tells you to apologize to me, then why are you suddenly so alert and wanting to apologize for what you did? I wonder. :) Imagine a BOY can say SORRY to a girl so easily, when he doesn't think he did anything wrong. Is his "sorry" that cheap until can say it out so easily? And said not even once. This is a self-degrading issue. Kids all around the world please don't learn and do this ya~ :D Speaking of gone through a lot, I don't even want to care what the shit you gone through, is it gone through a lot then you can do things like that to make people angry and mad at you? Is this what people who gone-through-a-lot do? Well, I'm not. I guess you are still a kid, because whatever you said just don't link. And don't even know how to lie with a more acceptable explanations. Speaking in an innocent tone doesn't make you sound innocent or whatever you want me to feel, but make me felt like you are an idiot, a piece of worthless shits. If you wanted to solve all problems you had created all this while, like you said, "untie whatever-shits-you-have-done", then stop lying, will you? I really detest on people who lied just to cover their damn ass. Whats unbearable is that you still have to cheek to lie about joking about me wanna get close with somebody else with my guy friend? I wonder. Didn't you think that I can always ask that friend of mine are you all were joking about that? By the way, I still HAD your message, saying that I wanna get close with XXX. So, please, get a life. I bet you don't have one. Cause all I see what you were doing is just to please a girl. HAHA. LIFELESS KID. Spend more time on more meaningful activities than spreading all those stupid untrue news in school, alright? Really don't want to talk to you anymore, anyway, I guess I hardly speak to you, cause I dislike you right. :)

But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive - the word “incentive” here means “an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don’t want to do - to read long, dull, and difficult books.
-Lemony Snicket

This quote scares me off from touching law books!!! :(
S.O.S! +_+

fucking angry.

2010-10-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

I don't know what the fucking hell problem you're having.
Talking to me like I owed you money or something.
You're not even my boss, damn it.
Yesterday was chatting happily and today is like god damn it.
If I knew you were that fucking moong ju ngan's friend, I wouldn't even speak a word to you.
Merely fuck off please, who do you think you are?
Don't be a sarcastic lame shits can? Like you fucking know me very well.
Go Shut Your Fuck Up, ccb.
I hadn't speak so many vulgar in a day before this year, you successfully made me speak that much today.
Darn you.

YOU WORTHLESS PEACE OF SHIT. *Point at YOU!!*

my day. ♥

2010-10-10T21:46:00.003+08:00

Had a great day today, went to shopping in Jusco.
Bought my boyfriend jeans, a blanket, and a white T-shirt in Padini. :D
And mum bought a T-shirt too, total up is Rm 266.40~
Okays, I know I should go and study, but I just can't make anything I read get inside my half-dead brain. :(!

K, Thanks for your cookies, +_+ and song you sang. :)!
Nice song, when its not sang by you, SORRY TO SAY THAT! :X
Hmms, very tired actually when you sang that song to me.
Definitely know what you mean, and your intention is quite obvious.
But you're still my friend, BUDDY. *giggles*
Your cookies still can eat, not bad. XD!
Like finally, there's something I can praise about you. LOL!!!
Sound so mean. blek!
Next time if you still want to woo me, I would love you to bring me shopping and buy me everything I like, everything I pointed at, everything I wore and look nice in it! :D

To some people around me,
If you don't want to be friend anymore, you don't have to fake a damn smile to us.
Don't even have to say a fucking "HI" to us.
Like we are begging you for that damn fake "HI".
I'm sorry that I never treat you as my friend after my "incident".
HAH! I already knew what kind of person you are.
Hypocrites out there! You do have an angel face, but slowly, your wings will be pulled of by people!
Just stop smiling at people, making innocent faces, letting people feel like we are the one who is in the wrong while you're the one who made all these shits happened.
We all are frustrated about all these fake actions of yours!
Merely fuck off. No one wants to see you act. There's no stage here. :)

Exams is coming and my mood isn't for exam.
Feeling so happy everyday really made lots of bitches jealous. :(
Anyway, I don't give a damn, I'm going to smile to everyone!
I'm going to make everyone jealous! ♥

I miss you.

2010-09-13T13:44:00.004+08:00

I know i should post something. :)
Yesterday was granddad's birthday, and we went back to Taiping and celebrated with him.
3 tables in a hotel. :]
Had a great dinner, dishes was still okays, but what's happiest is that I can see my Nicholas.
I don't know why I'd like him so much.
Probably because of his cuteness! :D
No doubt no doubt. He is so adorable! I wonder if I'll love my future husband more than him a not next time. :o
And I wonder if I'll love my children more than him a not. @_@"~
Its a bit Far to think about all these right?
Yet, I thought about my son's name, if I have that chance to born baby or babies. :x
I only thought of borning sons, but not daughters, I wonder why I never.
And my son's name will be Lucas. :)
Don't copy ya! ._. Its my son's okays.
We as in my nephews and I played tanglung and candles yesterday, although its not moon festival yet~
And they blew off my candle! My only lighted candle on my hand!
That makes my hand full of their mixture of salivas. x.x"
OH YA, not to forget about the whole long stucking jam in the highway. -.-
I took the longest time to go to Taiping and reaches Ipoh for the first time!
I'm homed at 3 am! ._.
Anyway, Nicholas, I love ya. :)

hees!

2010-09-10T21:54:00.003+08:00

Went to kbox yesterday~ :D
with TONS of friends. Actually not that much. :x
Anyway, TONS OF FUN.
I've been spending time playing from morning till night, watching drama, shopping till the shops closes, mall went lights off.
and, no BOOKS on my hand. Such a great time I had during holidays yea.
I bet I'll be regretting, ohh, actually I started to feel regret the next day. Always. HAHA.
Okays, I am off to watch my Private Practice already. :)!

OH YA, NO ROMANCE FOR ME. :)
So, Wf,
stop looking forward for my post about any guys I met ya! (^_^)V

2010-09-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

I bought my dress today!
Very tired, though. @_@"~
went out in the morning until 7 something. LOLS.

I MISS YOU.

Great day!

2010-09-04T18:13:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Kbox. LOL.

HAD LOTS OF FUN!! XD

Laugh until tears drooling in my eyes, and stomach hurts and heartache! @_@"

LOLLLLL. Really lots of jokes happened!

hahahaha, happy belated birthday to yanyee dear. ^^

muacks, love all of you. (^_^)V

black friday

2010-09-03T21:13:00.003+08:00

Seriously. What day is today? BLACK FRIDAY? :\
I just want to scream right now!!
Mum's car get banged my an auntie, and lodged a police report.
And I fall down in front of the auntie and her son and daughter when they came.
EMBARASSINGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Sylvia path

2010-09-02T23:10:00.005+08:00

hell yeah, my exam is over. :P
damn long, 3 weeks!!! :(
anyway, let alone care what's the results I get alright. :x
hmms, didn't feel as happy as I expected I will be.
last time I think I will shout and hug everyone around me, but this time is different~
maybe its because the last paper is biology, nothing to be happy about. LOL!
cause don't know how to answer, and then, got no mood at all. x.x"
hmms, my computer is back! replaced the graphic card with a new one~ :D
maybe used too much laptop then now not very used to the monitor. @_@"~
okays, felt kinda giddy, let me change my blogskin and then I will go orh orh. XD

Jo, enjoy your trip to singapore and take care ya! :)
My dear(s) and babe(s), love die all of you~! ♥

A happy belated birthday to Derrick Yong, 1/9.

whatever.

2010-08-20T19:28:00.001+08:00

I wonder, what does that have to do with me?
You have your girlfriend, new one, so?
None of my business.
Yayaya, cut down your smoking habit that I'd told you to do so before.
for her, or for me? or for yourself?
I don't give a damn. Really.

Messages to you, the first time.

2010-08-15T20:31:00.004+08:00

This is the first time ever, I try to write a letter to God, hoping he will see my messages here.
I wish to leave here once I'm a grown up.
If God can help me grow wings on me, I will be thankful and pray to you.
God, please help me in my life to be able to success.
I want to thank you for letting me feel your love, when I need somebody to love me for who I am, for showing me what love is, and what love's not, for loving me and giving me strength,
for not judging and for your acceptance.
Thanks for loving me so much.
And I love you too.

I am not a christian, nor a real buddhist.
I don't pray in time. But now I can't find a way out.
I feel like I'm nothing, eventually.
Life is unfair, right now, here, at where I live.
I don't like to judge or being judged by people who thinks he knows everything while what he knows is nothing, I don't like to pretend that I don't like a person if I am and so he calls me a desperate.
And what his girlfriend and other friends did is rejecting a person to see whether if that guy truly loves her. What I see is an idiot act, or maybe sort of stupid?
What if after you rejected that guy gave up? Are you sure for those who truly loves you will not turn their back after you rejecting them? Are you really sure about that?
If I were that guy, I will never ask for second chance.
I don't want to eat, so he say even if I died, there's no sympathy. And its a waste of petrol for fetching me.
Living under the same roof, going out by the same vehicle, from the same place, to the same destination, called a waste of petrol. :)
I wonder he took mum's car and drove everywhere fetching his friends, his girlfriends from KL and drive here and there, is not a waste of petrol eh?
I wonder if he knows what's the meaning of "waste", and did he study english and pass his english paper.
And yea, even if I died also none of his business.
I don't need him to like me for I am who I am, I am what I want to be, I am who I'm comfortable with, I am myself. He just have to accept it or leave it.
I don't mind if he just shut his mouth up everytime he want to voice out what he dislike about me and blah blah blah~
I am on diet, so? Since he is the one who always complaining I am fat, then why bother to stop me from really diet? Oh, he cares? Or he just simply want to be sarcastic?
I know his girlfriend very thin, his girlfriend is perfect, he likes his girlfriend's ponytail or blah blah blah, but there's no need to be that sarcastic and keep on complaining about me.
Nah, my mum will just sit there and listen to what he said, and never help me to fight back or ask him to shut his mouth. No one dares to.

Its okays if you don't even support me financially in going for my university or college or whatever, I will find my way. Even there's really no way, I will not beg you even if I have to be a beggar and beg from those strangers.
Its a waste of petrol, so, I will not go for dinner anymore. :)
Even if I'm hungry, I will just walk to the nearby restaurant or walk to the bakery and buy some bread. ^^
Its raining now, if it wasn't, I will walk to the playground and play the swing there.

2010-08-01T17:57:00.002+08:00

FIGHTING FOR TRIAL!!!!!!
MIA~ :D

Had real fun!

2010-07-24T21:32:00.002+08:00

AHS! Yesterday went to Wong Kok to celebrate a belated birthday with er!
Had lots of fun yesterday and my very first time of asking boys for number. :O
LOL. PLEASE! Not again next time.
Whatever truth you all want to know I will not choose dare anymore! @_@"~
Gosh. Really very paiseh. +_+
I don't think I got the cheek to go back to that restaurant anymore. @_@"~

2010-07-23T18:51:00.000+08:00

Will be going to Wong Kok to celebrate er's birthday.
Shit, my heart start to ache now. Again.
what the fish. =.=
I don't want to ache now.
I want to have fun later~!!

2010-07-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

请容我最后一次叫你: 宝贝, 我爱你~

I learnt.

2010-07-20T01:10:00.003+08:00

The two main emotions in human beings:
Fear and Love.

Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hide, hoards, harms.
Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.

Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked. Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.

By Neale Donald Walsch

its just sex, not love.

2010-07-19T20:06:00.005+08:00

Can't post peektures and images with this laptop~
Miss my desktop so much. Sigh.
Anyway, school is okays, everything is at its right place and so is my heart.
So, trial is on 18th of august.
Haven't start my revision, yet.
Will start soon, promise myself here right now. :P

I am reading a novel recently.
"Conversations With God" by... (the book is at downstairs, lazy to take, so forgive me for not remembering the author's name.)
Indeed, its a good book.
I learnt a lot, though its all about Christian, Jesus.
But, I think it benefits me a lot.
So, who cares? :D

Currently listening to 我爱的人 by 陈小春. :)

2010-07-13T16:25:00.001+08:00

Skipped school today.
brother went back to singapore already.
will be back in August. :)

Your sis miss me, do you actually miss me? i bet nope.

i miss you.

2010-07-09T21:04:00.002+08:00

I guess its because today is the first day without you here beside me~
that's why i miss you.
Still not get used to it.

Helloh, I miss you. :(
Really miss you. :'(

2010-07-09T03:33:00.003+08:00

不要说什么我有权利选择爱我的男人~
不用说你也知道我爱的是~
真的认为爱我的男人就够好的话就只是你的想法...
不要把你的想法当作是我的...
说过不要弄我爱上你的...
说了不爱, 我会明白, 不会讨厌, 只是不想去爱~

很潇洒的写出这些话...
没有很潇洒的做到~
在夜里还找人, 找还有谁还没睡着陪我...
很明显, 全都睡了~
只有孙燕姿的歌, 陪着我~
她的歌, 深深地打动我的心, 完完全全地说出我的感受...
我没有剩下多少可以给未来我爱的人, 现在的我, 真的没有办法再去爱其他人了~
你的对不起, 我只能说没关系...
并不是我真的没关系, 而是那是我唯一能说的话~
爱你只有两个星期的时间, 可是已经足够让我筋疲力尽~
爱你很辛苦, 可是我甘愿....

how?

2010-07-08T17:50:00.002+08:00

i don't know how to express my love to you.
i'm mad. i'm seriously full of madness. :)
ohh, i'm gonna relax myself, like what you said to me.

there are still lots of things to care about, except the feelings and loves that i feeling towards you.
yea, its undeniable. :)
so, we should have a full stop here.
and live our lifes, seperately. :]
its sad, but its life.

我爱的人, 是真的爱你啊~

2010-07-05T19:17:00.005+08:00

要怎么去说你才会明白?
你每次叫我放轻松,要知道,不是我不要,是环境使我不能够像你那样的轻松.
我很羡慕你,能够那样的生活着...
你并不了解我,可是我却很爱你~
也许是因为那样,我觉得自己没有被你看透而感到安心...
我想要和你结婚....
傻吧? 明知道没有结果还要把头撞过去~
我觉得自己很好笑, 竟然想和你有未来~
把所有话写在这里,因为知道你不会看到...
你昨天也说了, 有爱, 可是不是那些疯狂的爱~
不疯狂的, 大概也只有不是真爱的了~
你问我明不明, 好的, 我明了~

我爱你啊, 就算真的没有结果;
结果不好, 我也希望我有那个机会去拥有你~
哪怕只是两三分钟...
我只要你啊~
学业对我很重要, 可是你对我也很重要啊...

2010-06-30T23:07:00.003+08:00

badmouthing issue again. lols.
countless time i kena this kind of shits.
yet, still think that friends are for life.
get hurt for so many times, still want to be in love.
I guess its the same thing.
I don't want to hate anyone, but the feelings of hating someone when saw their face just so vivid in my heart.
I really don't know what friends are for now.

Dear. I.Miss.You.Very.Much. :(

survive. :\

2010-06-21T21:12:00.003+08:00

helloh dear, love you. :)
because you are mine. heeeeeeeheeeeeeeee. :x

Zigzag loves. :D

holidays ending. :(

2010-06-17T19:45:00.003+08:00

hehe. long time never post like that. :x
so sad lorh, no more holiday next week. :(
so, so, so, so unhappy lorh you know.
my holiday ending already. D:
after that, results coming back~~~ :((((((
saddened. T_T

BYEBYEBYE. Gonna go off. D: D: D:

o.o

2010-06-08T01:38:00.002+08:00

en en, holiday is on now. (^_^)V
came here to blog cause my game load too slow and i got nothing to do. =x
going to singapore to meet some friends.
hmms, next friday going to play badminton with moonface and the others. :x
he owed me quite a number of things.
I shall remind him before that day. :D
then saturday is underwear's b'day party. XD
then 15th is kakak's b'day party. LOL.
okays, loads of things to do.
Snoopy, paiseh, havent audi with you let you pwn. LOL!
lovee too. :x

Thanks to J,
for reminding me that I'm a flirter. :]
at least, there's people who willing to let me flirt, what about you? :)
jealousy can kills, and I think flirting is way much better than sleeping with guys out there.
since you so love to lecture me, why not you rectify yourself first?
so that you got the right to bitch about me.
i may not be so angry actually.
its just because my damn game load too slow and i became more infuriated.
fine, up to you on what you want to think.
and what others want to think.
I'm done and cool with it.

SHIT LAH, MY GAME HAVENT LOAD EVEN HALF. -.-^

Arrogant shits.

2010-06-02T00:33:00.003+08:00

like it or not,
I am

MICHELLE LIN MEI QI.

Arrogant, proud and whatever peacock I am. :]
I just pwn. :)
Not gratified with that statement? :O

Reborn, then. x]

2010-05-30T20:33:00.003+08:00

我一定要成为一个大律师...
我真的很想做律师。
你，永远也无法了解我想要的程度，我的欲望，你不可能知道。
请不要阻止我迈向我的梦想。
我，不想将来有悔意。
你不是我，不会明白我的心情。
我，一定可以做到我想要的东西。

Miss me yet? (^_^)V

2010-05-21T18:59:00.004+08:00

LOL. One week had passed! Still, two more weeks yea. :D
I will jys!!!!!!! LOL. Siao le. @_@"~
Bo bian, too stress.
Today at library kam saw a magazine of singapore Amk School Magazine. LOL.
Then we both sat down and and have a look.
I wonder why Singapore's school magazine the book length so long. @_@"~
Kinda weird. x.x"~

Anyway, funny la, we both keep laugh at those people with funny look. XD~
Hmm, exams are okays.
Its normal to know some papers and don't know some. LOL. =l

LOVEEEEEEEE, I miss you~ :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Its a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now~
Said that I wouldn't come but I lost all my control~
And I don't know how I can't do without~
I just need you now~

urgh~~~

2010-05-14T16:55:00.002+08:00

EXAM STARTS FROM TUESDAY (18TH OF MAY) IN THE HALL OF MY SCHOOL. WTF, SO STRESS EH? ONLY 3 CLASSES IN THE HALL. =.=!!! SO-SPM-FEELING~ T_T

blessings from who?

2010-05-10T00:20:00.004+08:00

a belated Happy Mother's Day to those mummy(ies) all over the world. :D

my mum called grandmum and she asked why no one celebrates with her today. LOL.

I laugh like mad when i heard about it from my mum. HAHAHA.

we're going to celebrate with her next week in taiping! :)

cause most probably there will be car-jamming all the way on the highway.

okays, so my exam is around the corner.

18th of may, its actually on 17th, but then postponed. You know why?

gahhs, because of teachers' day. its on 17th. so what the fuck right?

maybe you will say nope, but i think its very. -_-

and the fucking timetable. it is full of shits.

let me list out the time table and let all of you see how fucking horrible is the timetable is. (^_^)V

18th

English (Paper 1) 8.45-10.30 a.m

Additional Mathematics (Paper 1) 11.00-1.00 p.m

19th

Physics (Paper 2) 7.30-10.oo a.m

Mathematics (Paper 2) 10.35-1.05 p.m

20th

Physics (Paper 3) 8.00-9.30 a.m

Moral 10.30-1.00 p.m.

21st

Chemistry (Paper 1) 7.30-8.45 a.m

History (Paper 1) 9.00-10.oo a.m

Mandarin (Paper 1) 11.15-1.oo p.m

24th

Additional Mathematics (Paper 2) 7.30-10.oo a.m

History (Paper 2) 10.30-1.00 p.m

25th

Malay (Paper 1) 8.00-10.15 a.m

Malay (Paper 2) 10.45 - 1.15 p.m

26th

PE 7.30-9.30 a.m

27th

Biology (Paper 2) 7.30 - 10.00 a.m

Biology (Paper 1) 11.45-1.00 p.m

31st

Chemistry (Paper 2) 7.30-10.00 a.m

English (Paper 2) 10.45-1.00p.m

1st

Mandarin (Paper 2) 10.30-12.45 p.m

2nd

Biology (Paper 3) 7.30 - 9.00 a.m

Mathematics 1 (Paper 1) 11.30-12.45 p.m

3rd

Chemistry (Paper 3) 7.30-9.00 a.m

Physics (Paper 1) 9.05-10.20 a.m

Sivik 11.30-1.00 p.m

See? how fucking shit is my exam time table?

You know i have to study how many subjects for the first week?

Not to mention about those subjects paper split out in different weeks.

I already very pissed about those days with only one paper.

Why the hell they don't just make the exam period shorter so that we can end the fucking exam earlier?

just wasting all of my fucking time on books, papers and those useless facts.

also, why others school end their exams within 2 weeks yet we used 3 weeks for that?

so unresourceful and unthoughtful school. -.-

everytime i saw the time table i feel like tearing it off.

YEA! I'm violent! SO!?

Who won't be angry when seeing that time table turn out to be like that!

forward let us march~

2010-05-08T03:32:00.002+08:00

probably because I'm studying for mid-year. =.=

History now. (^_^)V

life has been much contented with school works and revisions.

ahs, I want to be a LAWYER.

So, I don't care if I had became a utterly NERD.

RAWR!

Stucked.

2010-04-27T23:29:00.003+08:00

Helloh, anyone can coax me to study? =)

Currently brain stucking and my revision seems to be stucking halfway. =.=

I NEED HELP.

SERIOUSLY.

currently listening to avril's.

thanks.

2010-04-25T19:33:00.002+08:00

I felt like a metamorphose.

I'm taking you as wolf.

Someone I can talk to whenever I am sad.

I felt like I'm abandoned by you when you never talk to me.

Lots of times wanted to keep all things to myself, but I just cant stop myself from telling you everything and hoping for your consolation.

I know this is wrong, for relying on people so much.

Especially relying on people just like you, a normal friend.

Not counted as the best, or more than friend.

When I saw you talking to others and ignored me cause of them, I felt so hateful to them.

Felt like they snatch you away, they stolen you from me.

But... You don't even belongs to me.

I can't flighty to you. You aren't mine.

I felt so disgusted about my strong possessive.

You aren't a "thing", why do I treat you like my pet?

I'm really a metamorphose.

2010-04-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

I can don't mind what people say about me.

I can don't mind how people judge me.

As long as i live my live and they live theirs.

And i believe, no one got that right to judge the others.

They don't live others' lifes.

They won't have all the little details about others' lifes.

So, stop judging. I know you are one of those kind.

Ahhhhhhhhhh~

2010-04-19T14:46:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to write my Malay Essay...................
What the hell? Six points to write about excluded opening paragragh and ending paragragh.
My brain is lack of useful thoughts.
Tomorrow school reopen. -__-
I did my moral paper and chemistry exercise.
gahhs. Feel so lazy you know.
But, how come I'm not lazy when playing? ._____________.

What?

2010-04-18T15:54:00.003+08:00

I don't think i am doing anything wrong now, bark like a dog, go. :0

I don't give a shit. You probably think you're a good lover, but what i see is a moron claiming that he is way more better than me.

Although you never say so, but whatever you said about me is like you're one of the lovers who is even-more-better than me.

Oh yes, so like I care what you said.

Immatured kids.

Breaking up isn't my fault. Its him who cheated on me. Damn.

I don't even have to explain a shit to anyone.

This is my problem with him, why do peoeple around have to care so much.

I didn't ask you to give comments or judge.

Mixing with bartenders, and friends who owned a nightlife means I'm a flirt? :\

Don't you think you're a bit narrow-minded?

People changed, so am I.

I would love to change to anything, anything as long as it isn't myself.

I don't mind being called a flirt by other people who is even more flirt than me.

Whatever people wants to think about me, I can't stop you.

And I'm famous and popular enough here, you don't have to help me to be more famous.

I know what I'm doing, stop nagging and scolding me.

I am perfectly okays, like you know, I quitted smoking. =)

That's one of the fact that indicates I know what's good and what's bad for me.

Stop worrying. :)

your karma will bite you in the end.

2010-04-17T22:31:00.004+08:00

Apparently the above image is completely warning me. LOL.

I always/used to put my beer on books when I'm reading some other books. :p

Obviously, my post is talking about you, Terry, you didn't even meet me before and the only thing you know is I was K's Malaysia's girlfriend.

LOL. And you got no right to say a word or comment about me.

Get angry. I don't give a damn. Like I'd commit a crime.

Anyway, yesterday went to taiping to celebrate grandmum's birthday~ :D

Bryan never kiss my cheeck! He says I'm smelly and he refused to kiss. So sad you know. :(

But!! Nicholas, Justin, Keikei, Annabel and coolman did kiss me. :P

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So happy to see them and play with them. lol. :x

Its good to have cute kids like them. :D

I'm happy for my cousin sisters. :]!

Are there anyone else thought that I'm refering to him in the previous post??

I guess this post clarified everything.

LASTLY,

Tally, go and die. LOL!!

All are shits.

2010-04-16T15:22:00.007+08:00

KEN, can you please stop going around and say that i still love you or what.
you cheat on me and you sound like a victim than me.
so what if you go and say all those stupid and childish stuff.
WHATEVER.
i was really frankly and honest to you and telling you about you two timing me, making me the third party without letting me know you're in a relationship is a coincidence with my feelings to you had fade to nowhere.
and you are the one who cheated. ALWAYS REMEMBER. it was you. NOT ME.
stop all those shits you said, what i changed everytime you back, what i changed to another kind of person everytime, and like i am those change-colour-lizard. go to hell and fug yourself.
luckily i never bed with you even you ask me for that. =)
you'd came back everytime when i have holidays although you don't.
but everytime when you back i felt like you're a stranger.
and you are gone when i question you about your changes and stuffs.
i felt miserable about you for being this kind of fugging shit.
stop wasting my time explaining all this.

I DON'T WISH TO WRITE YOUR BIG NAME ABOVE TOO.
BUT AN IDIOT SHIT THINKS I'M BLOGGING ABOUT HIM.
WHO THOUGHT THAT SENTENCE "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU" FROM ME IS SO-OH-TRUE. WHILE THE TRUTH IS I SAID THAT TO ALMOST EVERY OF MY EX.
WHICH LAUGHS MY ASS OUT WHEN I SEE THEM FEEL SO TOUCHED OR WHAT.

SO, SHITS PLEASE DONT MISUNDERSTAND MY POST ANYMORE.
AND GO AND POST TO YOUR BLOG AND LET ME SEE SHITS.
THOSE SHITS MEMORIES IS THE ONE I HATED THE MOST TO RECALL BACK.
AS I FEEL LIKE A DUMBASS OR A DUMBSHIT WHENEVER I HEARD PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IT.

crazy.

2010-04-16T03:11:00.003+08:00

How long had it been, I wonder.

Perhaps time does eradicate something, magically.

Apparently, I don't care about what you commented on me anymore.

Although I did doubt about myself after you comment about me.

Not until now, because I'd never change. :)

The only one who changed, its you.

I wonder how can you be so sure that I've changed, without meeting me in real.

Just by your feelings, I don't think your "whatever-sense" is good.

Cause, it never correct. lol.

And everything is like whispering to me about how not suitable you and me were to be together.

I know, you are not the one;

so, now, I gotta move on. :]

WOOTS.

2010-04-11T20:55:00.003+08:00

Helloh, long time didn't blog like that. o.o
I'm good.
Read an article in The Star newspaper, about lifes. lol.
Quite interesting.
Hmms, I don't think I like any guys now.
No love is in me, like what Terry said. Heeeeeeee.
Today had fun~! Celebrated teng's and zhan ming's b'day.
Too bad, I made moonface's hand injured for snatching his watch. ._."
S.O.R.R.Y.

2010-04-09T23:54:00.001+08:00

I know I should cry.
But I haven't.
I want to cry so much.

I'm perfectly okays.

2010-04-02T21:28:00.004+08:00

I need something to make me feel alive, right now.
Today quarreled with mum cause of her tuition students never do her work even I already told them to do while my mum went out for some urgent stuffs.
Then, they never do any work and lied to my mum and say I never tell them.
I clarified myself, just that my mum doesn't want to believe me. :]
How pathetic I am?
Her trust for her students is even much more than her daughter.
Guess I'm just another passer-by in this world.

Helloh, I miss you.
Because you'd always protect me so well.
Come back soon. <3
Get good grades in your studies too. :)
I'll wait for you.
Because I can't live without you.

school reopen! ><"~

2010-03-22T15:01:00.004+08:00

I guess this is the thing I can only do in school. :)!

Yesterday wasn't a good day.

I heard lots of people's heart broke.

And I really don't like it; for it reminds me of mine.

Still, I went out to work like usual in this holiday.

Thought that I could maybe escape from this kind of situation that people around me are having a heartbreak moment.

I will just cry, if I were them, if I were heartbroken, if I were rejected by people, if I were broken up by people. :)

Cry for a long time, I guess.

Yea, I probably did.

But from what I recalled, I remember I were crying for that minute.

Then I were rushing out not letting anyone to know about it, were trying to pretend nothing happened in front of my friends.

But in the end, frankly, I end up broke down and cried while eating my noodles. LOL.

This is what I want to convey to my friends, that everyone has their hard time, everyone will experience at least a heart break, it doesn't matter that you want it or not, because it will comes, it sure will comes into your life one day.

And the important thing is, Is the one you want him/her to be with you at that moment around you? That's what matters. :]

moments.

2010-03-19T03:03:00.001+08:00

Happy until insomnia. ._."

Brag.

2010-03-15T02:54:00.003+08:00

I just need to feel tired.

So that I feel I'm alive.

Not dead yet, but dying, yet still having some hopes on living. :)

Okays, so, I'm not fine.

You know you should fug off from my life. :)

2010-03-12T14:06:00.003+08:00

March Test is officially ended~!

At last, you know? :\

Studied real hard this time, for no reason.

Maybe there is, that is I don't wish to get any bad result this year. :)!

Applying for scholarships to study Foundation of Law in Singapore.

So, its a must to study hard.

If I let you felt that I don't want to talk to you during exam, I can tell you that I don't mean it.

You can don't talk to me for the whole year; if you want. I don't mind.

I don't like the way you people settle things, I disagree on how you do your stuffs.

Maybe I shouldn't care. But, i just can't help it.

And, you look kinda like i had provoked you and you look at me like you hated me.

Omg, seriously, what I did for making you to look so angry with me?

And I don't think I'm doing anything wrong for sitting my exams real well.

You saw me prepare for exams, I'd never lied to you that I never study. I study just right in front of you, and I am sure you saw I'm studying like hell.

So, exam questions you don't know how to answer but I know, I never show off in front of you and said: "YAY~ I KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THE QUESTIONS!". I never.

And why are you giving me such looks that you are so fugging unhappy with me that I can do those question?

I never cry like how others did after add maths paper, doesn't mean that i know to do every fugging question.

I'm really feeling fugging frustrated with you, :]!

I think I won't talk in school anymore. Because school friends are fuggingly no good for me.

I can't wait to leave that damn place now.

Maybe, the correct way to say is, I can't wait to leave you.

hate sports practice.

2010-02-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

Well, sports practiced today. And tomorrow. Which ruined my tuition's time. -_-

Nevermind, just, only this week. :)!

Sitting right here in front of the computer is because I can't get into sleep and studied one chapter of history for March Test.

Will go to sleep after posting. :]!

SO, today was kinda unlucky? I guess. The teacher ask me to help her to do things for 2 times today. And I'm not suppose to do those things when I am not any pose-holder. LOLS.

Anyway, I'd helped her. Because I'm kind-hearted. In some ways. :)

Hmms, I'm feeling not good, because that feeling is.coming.back.

Gonna drained all those feelings by books! Since i have uncountable books to do my revision. :)

I don't like it when people disagree with my statements which I think its perfectly correct and flawless. Its my problem, I guess. For being a dictator.

I was talking about Tiger.W claims that he feels deeply sorry for whatever he had done.

Well, I sort of think what he talks about is all bullshits. Why?

Because he is an adult, he knows AFFAIRS are WRONG. Yet, he still did that. :)

He's a human who is able to think. To think about the consequences.

Saying "sorry" doesn't make things right sometimes. You're just saying or you really mean it? That's what only he know himself.

To prove that, he has to do something. But not just saying a "sorry".

From this issue, I conclude that Adults don't know what they were doing sometimes. So, stop asking me to listen to Adults when I know what's right and what's wasn't.

Adults are stupid. Who makes mistakes. Who screw things up sometimes. So, you'd better stop thinking that whatever you said are always right and no one's gonna object whatever you said.

Because, when no one does so. I'll make sure, I'll be the one. :]

Is this counted as rebellious?

Well, its depends on what you think.

HAHA!

2010-02-21T16:35:00.002+08:00

omg, this is my score for last time when i didn't mia for 140 bpm. :(

today i played. :]

very sad lahs, no more skills. :(

nevermind, today on for fun only. :]

think will be quitting audi.

says byebye to audi.

time flies.

2010-02-19T23:04:00.010+08:00

wth, time passed so fast, i wonder if time own a pair of wings. :O

anyway, should be doing my revision but then too lazy. ._."

yesterday went to have fun with my Bffs. :)!

really very happy visiting their house. XD

watch JU-ON II with them too.

that movie ain't scary at all, making me sleepy only. x.x"~

they did scream anyway, and my reaction is same as vivienne's grandmum's, which is =_=. LOL.

her grandmum real cool, i thought she will get a heart attack after watching it, but she said: aiyo, scare what lahs, fake one lahs, movie only. :) LOL.

which is so true. but then they still scream. :]

Did you enjoy your Chinese New Year? ;)

i'm glad that you have a pair of new shoes. :]

Love?

2010-02-16T23:09:00.001+08:00

why do i keep loving you?

how to tell you that i'm still in love with you?

words that speak.

2010-02-14T02:10:00.004+08:00

first of all, happy chinese new year and happy valentine's day to all my friends. :)!

wish you all have good lucks in this year. :]!

never realised its already 2.11 a.m. now. HAHAHAHA!

cause i was playing dota.

hope all of your wishes come true, my friends!

this is the first year of celebrating Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day at home. :X

time to sleep, nights. :]

really hope someone can realise things can be change, if he wants it to.

hope someone realised there's a person loving him all the time, all the way.

yucks.

2010-02-10T00:42:00.002+08:00

having a debate on friday entitled "Law is More Important than Education".

what do you think about it? :]

we think law is more important, then we chose to be the one who agreed with that statement.

googled for information until now, so what-the-fuck.

cutting off my bedtime. :(

time to sleep. :)!

night baby owl.

Get drunk. :]!

2010-02-08T22:02:00.006+08:00

if you have eyes to see; if you aren't blind yet;

i think you'd know yourself very well.

you look in the mirror, and straight away you'd get what i mean.

you put all your feelings right on your face.

people who have eyes would see everything in your heart.

you,
said that those guys come to you and woo you.
omfg, its not weird that guys like to woo you.
sorry to emphasizes and sorry to hurt those boys feelings if they were seeing my blog,
those boys with that kind of looks, like to woo you, its not weird.
omg, i do sound evil.
but look, acting and showing off to others that you have lots of woo-ers compare with this, i think, yours sounds more disgusting.
i feel really proud to say that i dont show off this kind of things. :]
and yes, at least i'm honest with my feelings that if i dont like that guy,
i will just reject them but not entertaining them without telling them its a waste of time if they continue on to woo me.
yet, you never do that but keeping on giving them hope.
you said you don't know how to reject and scaring that you will hurt their feelings, oh yes, like we know how to reject a guy without hurting their feelings?
who wouldn't get hurt in a relationship at the first place? who don't know they will get hurt one day once they are in love with other people?
if you don't wish to get hurt, then don't love anyone.
that's always the best way. and we did teach you on how to reject a guy in a good way, yet, you'd never try to do so. :)!
so what point of asking us on how to reject people?
and i feel so what-the-hell and don't even feel like answering your question and asking you question about your messy-relationship with other fucking uglam boys. x]
what? i'm too mean? or you're a fakers and fucking hypocrite?
i am a hypocrite, but in a good way. you? fucking fuck hypocrite.
see, even i have woo-ers, i don't count how many people woo-ed me before, and telling all my friends about who had woo-ed me before.
oh yes, and i bet those boys sure don't know you badmouthing about them behind their back!
fucking hell.

WOOTS!

2010-02-03T20:42:00.003+08:00

hadn't post about my mundane days long time already.

hahaha, maybe i shall talk about it now since i done my homework already. :)

so, school was fun, cause we cracked loads of jokes.

made fun of each other with friends, shooting each other without any bad intention, play hard study smart. XD

probably. i'm getting a life right now. what about you? ;)

i was counting down for Chinese New Year since school reopen already.

OMG. i really cant wait for CNY anymore~!! @_@"~

i want CHINESE NEW YEAR right now!!

i miss him. :\

2010-01-29T18:33:00.003+08:00

mum is going to buy vios.

FUCK

2010-01-27T21:14:00.003+08:00

MUM'S CAR GOT STOLEN.
SO WTF.

"friends".

2010-01-27T06:38:00.003+08:00

if what happened yesterday was things will do for a "friend",

i think, we weren't. we aren't. we never were friends.

so, why not just break the bond and get lost?

^_^v

2010-01-24T22:35:00.003+08:00

when love comes to the end, its neither your fault, nor mine.

so, lets not think about it anymore.

i wasn't sad. just that tears flow out without reasons.

my true feelings

2010-01-21T21:12:00.001+08:00

开始懂了孙燕姿

我竟然没有调头最残忍那一刻
静静看你走一点都不像我
原来人会变得温柔是透澈的懂了
爱情是流动的不由人的
何必激动着要理由
相信你只是怕伤害我不是骗我
很爱过谁会舍得
把我的梦摇醒了
宣布幸福不会来了
用心酸微笑去原谅了也翻越了
有昨天还是好的
但明天是自己的
开始懂了快乐是选择
原来人会变得温柔
是透澈的懂了

its tough for me.

2010-01-19T22:58:00.002+08:00

and i don't want my life to be that dramatic.

not now. not anymre.

this shall never be forget. x]

2010-01-17T15:45:00.003+08:00

LOL! this is what i keep laughing about when passing by this street with dear in singapore. XD

a great day.

2010-01-16T16:11:00.003+08:00

i thought i couldn't eradicate those feelings to you. ;)

surprisingly, i already annihilate everything of yours in my heart and brain.

i will not notice about that, until i realised i wasn't thinking about you anymore.

and yes dear, you said you were waiting me to grow up.

i think i already am now. and truly understand what you were referring to at that time.

hahaha, i guess its a great start for us.

let's go on date when you came back from england.

loves you always. ^^v

even if you died tomorrow,

i think, i wouldn't care.

also, i won't drop a tears. :)

what?

2010-01-15T17:08:00.001+08:00

suprisingly, i am. :)

fuck everything yesterday and today.

2010-01-13T15:46:00.006+08:00

fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!

fuck everything, fuck everyone, fuck every mother fuckers around me! FUCK MYSELF!!

why is it so many fucked up things could happened to me in just 2 days?

i dont even have enough time to digest what's happening around me.

why are all these fuckerning things happened right when i was trying to be happy and good and also trying to smile to everyone i see everyday?

why all those mother fuckers, asshole bitches, fuckerning scum of the earth always came by and fuck my life up?!

do i look like i am too free to handle all of you? or do i look like i won't fight back when things were unfair to me?

right now, fucking fuck shut your fuck up, and live your life. cause, i bet and i'm sure you don't have one.

fucking hell for today and yesterday! i really dont feel like smiling anymore.

seriously, what the fuck?

2010-01-11T22:32:00.005+08:00

oh ya, i shouldn't have care so much alright.

just that someone pissed me off and makes me cant even stand my anger to you.

oh yes, oh yes, can be friends back after what you said? server ties?

oh, nice one. :)

a belated congratulations to both of you.

but you're still a bitch and he's still a bullshit to me.

ya, correct, right. :]

i dont even want to talk to you, i dont have to try.

just do whatever image i uploaded in this post.

and yes, mind i emphasizes one thing?

i never serious in being together with you. ;)

so?

2010-01-11T18:34:00.002+08:00

oh yes, this is so real and true about me. :)